December 30, 2022

Rand Paul's Annual "Festivus" Report is Bleak and Comedic

  • Analysis, Home

By Ophelia Garrett

In Brief: 

Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) continued the annual tradition of celebrating “Festivus,” aka his laundry list of government waste. And the level of waste is indeed astounding. 

The Background: 

Sen. Paul has for the last 10 years annually given the American people a glimpse of the waste committed by our government. Declaring it his “Festivus Report.” This year, his report highlighted just a few line items of $482,276,543,907 in government waste. This includes $2.3 million used by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) for an experiment involving injecting puppies with cocaine, $202,000 used by the Department of Defense (DOD) on Starbucks espresso machines, and $3 million for the construction of a Gandhi museum. 

Paul began his list by bringing up Fauci yet again: 

“I would air my grievance at Fauci again but I am trying to be festive — and also I’m trying to get home for Christmas. If I listed all of the things Fauci was wrong on…wow that guy is wrong a LOT.” 

The list also includes millions spent on camouflage uniforms. Uniforms that did not work. 

 “A Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction (SIGAR) report revealed that the Department of Defense (DOD) spent roughly $28 million on forest-patterned, “camouflage” uniforms to use in the deserts of Afghanistan. It was later found that the camouflage uniforms were “not based on an evaluation of its appropriateness for the Afghan environment.”

Next up, the waste of the NIH, including but not limited to: 

$2.1 million used to encourage Ethiopians to wear shoes (culture respect, anyone?)

$2.3 million injecting beagle puppies with cocaine (PETA, anyone?)

$1.1 million on “training mice to binge drink alcohol,” (again, PETA?)

The list continued but was too much to include here. 


Notable Quotes: 

“This will be the 10th year in a row that I’ve celebrated #Festivus with you. By celebrated, I mean have a little fun at the expense of Washington. If we don’t laugh, we might cry.” – Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY)



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